Do Female Sexual Enhancers Work?

A funny thing happened after the little blue pill hit the male enhancement market. Men were able to say to women, ‘If you’re not happy in bed, it’s not my fault. I’ve done everything that I can do.”

Indeed, guys have overdosed on Extenze, exercise, read the Kama Sutra until they were blue, learned where the G-Spot was located and studied every response they could get out of the female body, with the attention of CSI lab tech, looking for evidence at a high profile crime scene.

Ladies, it’s our turn for a little soul searching when it comes to our low sex drives.

We chronically have poor diets, because we’re always on the run, always exhausted, because whether we’re at our jobs or at home, we’re always working. And if we are fortunate enough to have children, that’s more time we don’t have. And usually, just about the time the kids are out the door and on their own, we wind up spending more time with our parents, who need greater attention and care.

Of course, we’re happy with our lives and our families and except for minor tweaks, we wouldn’t change a thing. However, there’s very little “me” time in there. So, we take the time we’re supposed to spend on enjoying sex, and start running through a laundry list of things we haven’t done and bills we haven’t paid.

We’re not really aroused, because we can’t shut our minds off enough to pay attention to what’s going on in the bedroom.

So, we’re not experiencing the big O, a little O or even an “oh my.”

The medical profession has come up with a name for this, FSAD or Female Sexual Arousal Disorder. However, no one can agree on the how to really diagnose this and the exact symptoms can vary from women to woman. Science knows it exists, but because women’s sexual responses are tied into and triggered by both mental and physical stimulation, pinning down the causes of FSAD in a particular woman is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Women’s Viagra is hitting the same problem. The FDA will not approve female Viagra, and it has failed its second clinical trial, because an unacceptable amount of women find that it doesn’t work.

Female enhancement supplements are experiencing a huge surge in popularity. They have been featured on FOX News and the Doctors. And yes, to answer the question in the title, do female sexual enhancers work, according to these TV shows, certain enhancement gels, creams and supplements work very well.

However, that doesn’t answer the question, what do you do if your head is not in the right place.

Women’s erotic romance has taken a really strange bent lately. I’m not saying this to judge any particular sexual practice, if you and your partner are of legal age, and both enjoy what you do, then it’s all good, as far as I’m concerned.

I’m saying "bent," because women’s romances are the most formula driven literature you can possibly imagine. The publishers of the romance genre pay attention to what women are buying. And the books that women buy are a reflection of their private fantasies.

Here’s the progression of situations:

Virgin daughter meets rich and powerful man
Virgin secretary meets rich and powerful man
Widow meets successful older man
High-powered female executive meets richer and more powerful man
Older woman (I despise the term “Cougar”) meets younger man
Woman (all ages and socio-economic levels) meets vampire/werewolf
Woman (all ages and socio-economic levels) meets Alpha Male

And the plot line that’s popular now:

Woman (all ages and socio-economic levels) meets Dom

Dom. or, if you prefer, Domme. As in domination. As in, “when we reach the bedroom door, you are no longer in charge of what is happening. I’m in control and not you, and if I have to tie you down to make that point, I will.”

When this line was read at a book club meeting I attended, you could hear the mass sighs of appreciation roll through the room, much like a 60 mph wind cutting through Florida during hurricane season.

It shouldn’t be surprising that this is a popular female fantasy. More often than not, women are in control of everything from balancing the checkbook, to planning vacations for the family. It must be nice to give up control somewhere. What better place than the bedroom, because this is the place where you can’t give up control of your thoughts long enough to enjoy what’s happening.

And those feminists among us with absolutely no sense of proportion have collective heart failure. But you lost me as a charter member when you claimed there was no such thing as female ejaculation.

Which only goes to prove, men, if you think you don’t know women, women don’t know women either, because no two women you get in the same room, have the same mental and biological responses. Apparently the women who don't have absolutely mind blowing sex outnumber the ones that do.

Our physiologies are a mystery not only to us, but also the medical community. Researchers are only now studying females in large enough numbers to get useful information. The fact still remains that when doctors use the word “average” and apply to a female’s reproductive organs, the range that “average” covers is staggering.

So, what practical information can I get from this?

First of all, you can’t enjoy yourself in the bedroom if you don’t commit to being there 100 percent. Find adult games and roll playing that keep you in the moment. Leave all thoughts of the housework and the laundry outside the bedroom.

Invest in some high quality female sexual enhancers – starting with the gels and lubricants. If they work for you, it means your problem is physical in nature - move up to the all-natural supplements.

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